I need to remind myself that I’m closer to the old woman here than the children.

So, I’m 50, yeah? No longer in my youth. I know this to be true in one sense, but I really don’t feel it in another.

And when I see shows or movies where the main characters are in their 20s, I still feel like they’re aimed at me somehow. And when the characters are in their 30s and made out to be past their prime, I somehow get offended. And here I am, 50. A lot past my 30s. And even past my 40s (which still blows my mind… I don’t even really feel older than my early 40s, so how did this happen? why does time keep passing?).

So I’m caught in this weird position of practically doing a double-take whenever I watch things. Now I understand the (considerably fewer) movies aimed at an older generation. Maybe I should watch some of those.

I did just watch the most recent rendition of Howard’s End on PBS, which I thought was well cast and well enough done, but I haven’t read the book so I can’t compare. It did feel like they skipped over a lot of plot points that should have been explained, but you can only do so much in four hours, I suppose. Anyway, in it (spoiler alert), one of the semi-main characters, a widower, who must be about my age, ends up married to someone in their late 20s. That often happened back then, I guess, but it feels like few stories center themselves around those in their 40s and 50s without also involving considerably younger people.

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