(CC BY 2.0) Flickr user hangmy nguyen

(CC BY 2.0) Flickr user hangmy nguyen

“Moms’ night out.” “Girls’ night out.” “Nail wraps.” “A day at the spa.” “Out with my besties.” “Mani pedi!” All of these phrases and activities leave me cold.

I can’t be the only female who feels this way. Bear in mind that I’m very much a cis female, heterosexual, in a committed relationship with a man. And yet I don’t feel a camaraderie with women. I am much more comfortable hanging out with men. Except when I’m not. Sure, occasionally a woman will say something about women and I’m like, “Hell yeah. You nailed it on the head.” But most of the time I’m left confused. I feel like there is a club that I qualify for but wasn’t issued a membership card. I just sit on the sidelines, watching. Not wishing to be invited, but also not knowing where else to go.

I was never one of those girls (or even young women) who planned and envisioned their wedding day before it was a possibility. Though I do like to occasionally dress up, in skirts and everything, most days I much prefer to be wearing comfortable clothes and sensible shoes.

I’ve always been this way. I preferred LEGO to Barbies, computers to makeup. I wasn’t a tomboy, so growing up I didn’t ever quite fit in with boys either. I’m something in the middle, I guess. I haven’t ever found a gender-based group of people where I fit in. Generally, that’s okay. It’s not necessary. But sometimes you feel the lack.

Still, I know that there’s nothing wrong with me. People come in all kinds, shapes, colors, preferences, and interests. And if you’re like this too, there’s nothing wrong with you either.