I wish I’d focused on writing earlier in my life. But I really didn’t know what I was doing. And I didn’t have a safety net. So I had to earn money right away.

How do you know when you need a life coach?

I have my personal life in great shape. It’s exactly where I want it to be (though I wish more of my friends were local… a major problem with making friends on the internet).

But other parts of my life… Like my “career” (I’ve never wanted a career, per se, just enjoyable, valuable work and to make enough to live on). There are things I want to do (write more books, create more things, use my brain sometimes and allow it to rest at other times), but most of it isn’t a cohesive whole. I don’t know how to make enough money at what I am driven to do. I can’t market myself or my work to save my life. (Here’s a link to my books on Amazon! Consider clicking! Wow, aren’t I good at marketing? Sigh.)

Sometimes I wonder if I should go back to school. But everyone I talk to tells me to not bother with a Master’s degree unless a job is paying for it. And financial aid for post-Bachelor’s degrees is rough.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just quit all my other jobs and work on writing for a whole year, and make a go of it the best I can. But my life’s still too busy to have enough free time to devote. (Perhaps in a couple of years.)

Sometimes I wonder if I should find some good workbooks to work through, to help point me in the right direction. But without someone reading between the lines, hearing what I don’t say, and then asking me pointed questions, I don’t think I’d come up with anything particularly novel.

But I don’t know what it is I’m looking for yet. I don’t even know the questions to ask myself. So I don’t feel like I can justify spending any money hiring some kind of life coach.

Ahhh…

I’m feeling every one of my 50 years lately, and I feel like I’m running out of time somehow. I no longer have enough years ahead of me to take a couple of decades to get really good at something and then reap the benefits of coasting on it for a while.

It’s hard to be a Generalist. I never know in which direction I should look, where I should put my energy.

<flail> <flail>

I’m feeling really lost.

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